Trust – Bedtime Stories

Building Trust and Self Confidence

Storyberries Bloggers — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 15:13:05 +0000

Nurturing trust, self-confidence and healthy self esteem in kids

To trust oneself is to believe in oneself, and to be sure of one’s abilities. Confidence is the basis for the development of healthy self-esteem and psychological well-being. The self-confident person has the courage to face challenges, and to achieve goals, without fear of failure.

Why is trust in children important?

Self-confidence has a really stimulating effect on children: it gives them the energy and courage to live life fully; to learn, make friends, and gradually gain autonomy. Faced with difficulty in achieving a goal, a child who has confidence will bet on their chances of success and will say they can do it.

How can I help my kids be self-confident and trust themselves?

There are lots of ways we can help our kids become confident and self assured. Storyberries provides free children’s books and parenting tips, to help kids trust their own worthiness and become more self confident.

Building trust through realistic compliments
Giving realistic compliments: this is an infallible method for building and strengthening trust. It tells a child they are on the right track and that they have chosen the right strategy to succeed.

Praise efforts and achievements
Focus praise on the effort and the goal accomplished, not the person. Instead of constantly repeating how handsome or smart a child is, it is much better to say the drawing they have made is fantastic, and we are proud of them.

Provide fair feedback:
Criticism is also helpful, provided it is fair. If a child performs an inappropriate action, mention should be made of their mistake, not to insult or negatively label, but to offer a different way forward. The opinions of adults in early childhood form the basis of children’s trust.

Expressing confidence in our kids
If children sense we believe in them, they will believe in themselves, and are more likely to be adventurous and to try new things. If they feel we are on their side, they won’t mind making mistakes, will feel more self-confident and be more likely to succeed. Help kids to see that learning from mistakes and failures is an important part of learning.

Setting healthy challenges
Allowing children to face and overcome challenges, allows them to build confidence in their own skills. Start with small challenges and gradually letting them face more difficult ones, remembering to avoid setting very high goals that just lead to frustration.

Build resilience
Encouraging children to keep trying. Not giving up is key to achieving goals. We can offer our encouragement by showing love and unconditional support.

Acceptance and understanding
Avoid making comparisons with other children: this often feels bad for kids, especially if they are not very confident.

It can be hard for older children and teens to maintain their self confidence in competitive school and social media environments, so we can expect that confidence will at certain times be low.

Some Free Books About Nurturing Confidence and Self Trust in Kids At Storyberries

Rafiki’s Style
Rafiki faces peer pressure from the Cool Cat Crew to change his hair so it looks like theirs. Read this super story to find out what Rafiki decides to do.

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A Friend for Poochi
Poochi feels sad because no-one seems to want to be his friend. All the other insects seem to reject him because he looks and behaves differently. Eventually he finds his true friends and his self-confidence soars.

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More of Me to Love
“Being happy is not a size or a shape. There are so many things about a person to love.” In this delightful and beautifully illustrated story, a young girl feels good about being herself, and so brims with self-confidence and love.

READ FOR FREE NOW

Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy.

Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com

The post Building Trust and Self Confidence first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

How to Help Kids Overcome Fears, Phobias and Being Scared

Storyberries Bloggers — Thu, 31 Dec 2020 22:00:12 +0000

Helping kids cope with fears, phobias and being scared

Fear is one of the basic emotions, a physiological reaction designed by evolution to avoid dangerous or potentially dangerous situations. All children suffer from fear to some extent, and their fears are often related to specific everyday situations such as going to sleep, the dark, or even clowns, pigs or school. These fears change according to age, and thus their way of facing them also changes. It is important however to distinguish everyday fears from more pronounced phobia.

How is a phobia different from fear?

Phobias are defined as extreme fear and anxiety reactions to a specific stimulus. Anxiety is a reaction of the body to something that is threatening to us. It is a way of preparing ourselves to flee or attack. There are however lots of occasions where fear is activated by stimuli that are not dangerous. While fears and phobias are both normal reactions of the human body, managing them is still important, as they can have a negative impact at a personal and family level.

What are the most common childhood fears?

The most common fears amongst children are fears of the dark, monsters (or other fantastical creatures), being abandoned or left alone, school, animals, and visiting doctors and dentists.

Stay calm
When facing fears with children, the most important thing is to stay calm, since they trust you to understand the world.

The secure presence of a calm adult is very reassuring for children and really helps to allay fears.

Validate feelings
Guide children to recognise their fear and understand it as normal. You can start by helping them identify what causes their fear. It is positive to talk about the things that cause fear, as kids need to feel listened to by someone sympathetic.

Face fears slowly and with an attitude of kindness.
Encourage your child to face their fears gradually (initially giving your help) and without any forcing. Praise courageous behaviour and then gradually (over time) step back so the child feels confident on their own.

Notice any patterns of avoidance
Try to see if there are any repeating patterns of behaviour – is the child using the fear as a way to avoid doing something undesirable, or is there something else they are afraid of?

Again, be very gentle. They may need reassurance or help with the thing they’ve been avoiding. After getting the reassurance or support they need, the fear or phobia may fall away all by itself.

Help kids feel safe again
It is possible to help children overcome their fear by gradually exposing them to it. For example, if a child is afraid of dogs, you might offer your support and show that they don’t have to be afraid. If you are concerned, or if the fear seems serious, please seek professional advice from your medical doctor.

Play and humour
It can sometimes be very helpful to use humour to help face fears. A good antidote for some kinds of fears is to transform frightening aspects of a person or situation into funny features through pictures and jokes.

This isn’t laughing at the child’s expense, but using playfulness to lighten the child’s feelings.

Some free books about being scared

Scared Tumi
Tumi is very frightened of many things. In this lovely story, Tumi describes his fears, and his mother helps to allay them with reassuring explanations.

read for free now

Brave Bora
A beautifully illustrated and reassuring story. Bora goes to have a vaccination. He takes along his toy monkey Jojo. Baba and the kind nurse both help Bora to feel calm and relaxed, and then he has his vaccine. Brave Bora!

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Who Stole Bhaiya’s Smile?
Bhaiya has a big black monster on his back. In this super story for 7-12 year olds, Bhaiya’s family help him deal with the heavy sadness that is weighing him down in a very clever way.

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The Shell-Shocked Turtle
Owen the turtle is frightened of everything! His sister helps him to face his fears and become confident once again.

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Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

The post How to Help Kids Overcome Fears, Phobias and Being Scared first appeared on Bedtime Stories.