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LET’S CHAT ABOUT THE STORY ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Motivation, Conscientiousness

1. In this story, Antony the Ant teaches Scowly Puss that keeping busy can sometimes help us to not feel so bored. Why do you think this might be?

2. Scowly Puss takes great pride in making the perfect furniture for Queen Antonette. Do you think it is good that he took the time to do this job well? Why or why not?

Feelings, Sadness, Boredom

1. Why do you think Scowly Puss feels sad when he feels bored? Do you think the two feelings always come together? Why or why not?

Bedtime Story for Kids written by Jade Maitre

Illustrated by Dia Lee

Book design by Jade Maitre

Other Credits – Music video by March of the Spoons Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), Zazie Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), Marty Gots a Plan Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), Two Finger Johnny Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License, http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The post Scowly Puss and the Very Rainy Day first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

Learning to express how we feel

As it is, we live in a culture that does not support pain. If from a very young age, we were taught to express and validate all the different shades of emotion, we would have greater capacity to face sadness without falling into depression, and have a better toolbox to face anger without becoming violent.

How does sadness manifest in kids?

When children feel sad they may be irritable, agitated, aggressive or hyperactive. On the other hand they may seem discouraged, withdrawn or reluctant to participate in activities that previously gave them pleasure. They may not want to join in a game, or they may give up very easily, even when encountering the least difficulty. We may notice them sleeping less or much more than usual, or see sudden changes in eating habits such as a loss of appetite.

Storyberries offers practical suggestions for helping children cope with sadness, as well as free online children’s books about different emotions, including sadness.

Naming emotions

Helping children identify their emotions by naming the emotions, and giving words for how they feel: “I understand that you feel sad …” or, “”This situation must have made you feel bad.”

Little by little children can be helped to recognize that there are words for what they are feeling, and that their feelings can be named and made sense of. This helps children to organise their experiences in their minds.

It’s okay to not feel okay

Making it okay to feel sad: we can explain that although sadness doesn’t feel good, it is normal to feel it from time to time, and that everyone, without exception, feels like this when they lose something, when they feel lonely or rejected, when they feel like they’ve done something wrong, or when something unpleasant happens.

Expressing how we feel in healthy ways

Expressing our own emotions in healthy ways so children can copy us: instead of hiding our feelings, phrases like: “I feel angry about what you did”, “Let’s talk another time, I am very upset …” or “I feel sad about the situation” are very powerful. In this way we show sadness to be a passing emotion, a temporary state of mind that does not go beyond a day or two at the most.

Encouraging kids to talk

Helping kids to identify negative thoughts. Storybooks are a really good way to discuss feelings, and so too is drawing. Listening and encouraging children to express their sadness and fears allows them to understand that we are all vulnerable, and that feeling sad or afraid does not equate to being weak.

Sadness also shows up in different ways in children, so when confronted with undesirable or unexpected behaviour, it helps if we can maintain a listening attitude. This allows us space to think, and to find out what is happening.

Validating and empowering

Validate feelings by recognising the sadness as real, and avoid downplaying (with phrases like “come on, this is nothing, it is just nonsense, do not get like that”, “go on, you’re whining again”, or “quit now.”)

Help find a solution: most problems have a solution, so as parents we can try to guide the child back to a state of serenity and happiness.

 

Resourcing kids for the future

When we are able to recognize the sadness that our kids face, and when we make it easier for them to express what they feel, we help to calm and lessen the heavy feeling. Doing so also helps children develop their own resources for managing emotions and staying calm, which can help them in the future.

Please note that if a child continues to seem very unhappy, to behave in ways that are challenging or uncharacteristic, or if you are still worried, it’s a good idea to seek professional help.

Some Free Books About Sadness At Storyberries

Mama Chick’s New Easter Hat

When Mama Chick feels sad, her children help to brighten her day. As they look around the farmyard to find beautiful flowers to decorate her hat, their show of love and care makes everyone feel happy.

Ollie is Scared

In this story Ollie feels sad because he is afraid of being bullied at school. His mum helps him to talk about his feelings..Then they meet his teacher and together they come up with a good plan that helps all the children.

The Letter

Often sadness is accompanied by other feelings such as hurt, anger or frustration. It can be hard for children to express how they feel, especially when the sadness involves people they love. In this beautifully written and illustrated story, Julia finds a way to express her sadness about her parents’ separation, by writing them a letter.

Who Stole Bhaiya’s Smile?

Bhaiya has been feeling the weight of sadness for so long, it’s become a depression. For Bhaiya it feels like he has a heavy monster on his back. Bhaiya’s family and friends all want to get rid of the monster so they can see Bhaiya smile again, but it isn’t that easy. In time, they learn to accept and welcome Bhaiya exactly as he is, and then his feeling of sadness starts to lift.

Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy. 

Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com 

The post Helping kids understand and cope with feeling of sadness first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

How to best approach an anxious child

It helps if we can stay calm and be reassuring, as our own fears can otherwise worsen the situation. Getting down to the same level, making reassuring eye contact, and holding hands if you can, can all really help. Storyberries offers free children’s books on anxiety, and parenting tips to help parents support an anxious child.

Showing empathy

Anxiety is fear, so it helps for children to know that we understand and that we also feel fear sometimes. Once your child is calmer, you can give thought to possible solutions.

Being calming and soothing

Taking deep breaths together – breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. Calming with words may, or may not, help – when we are feeling very anxious we don’t always hear what is being said to us. 

Giving a hug can also be a useful way to calm the nervous system – through a reassuring hug we can transmit a sense of tranquility and safety.

Creating an action plan

You can help make a positive action plan with the child on what to do if the anxiety comes back again. Depending on the context (home, school etc.) the plan may involve breathing exercises, taking a short walk outside or drawing a picture. There are lots of possibilities.

Encouraging kids to talk

Helping kids to identify negative thoughts. Storybooks are a really good way to discuss feelings, and so too is drawing. Listening and encouraging children to express their fears allows them to understand that we are all vulnerable, and that feeling afraid does not equate to being weak.

Support for parents

Seeing your child suffer from anxiety can be very painful, frustrating and confusing. Parents usually wonder at some point if they are the cause of their child’s anxiety. Research shows that anxiety is often the result of multiple factors. Whatever the cause of your child’s anxiety, you can help ease it. You can also help your child to develop good coping and self-care skills. As with any childcare issue, don’t be afraid to ask for professional help.

 

Some Free Books About Anxiety and Fear At Storyberries

Scared Tumi

“Everybody gets scared. Mama says it’s okay. In this lovely, simple story, Tumi talks about the different things that scare him while his Mama reminds him that he is reassures him with her kind words and loving presence.

Ollie is Scared

Sometimes anxiety arises out of very real events that are happening to kids. In this story Ollie feels sick and too scared to go to school because he is afraid of being bullied. His mum helps him to talk about his feelings..Then they meet his teacher and together they come up with a good plan that helps all the children.

I Am Not Afraid!

In this delightful story, with gorgeous illustrations, a young girl faces her fear of the dark and discovers she has lots of courage!

Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy. 

Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com 

The post Helping kids cope with feelings of fear and anxiety first appeared on Bedtime Stories.