Good manners are ways of acting and speaking that convey respect and consideration; for example, affectionate forms of greeting, acts of courtesy or having polite table manners. What is considered polite or respectful varies (for example across cultures), so it’s really helpful to take time to reflect on our own values and those of the people around us (neighbours, extended family, school etc,), so that we can best help our children fit into their social worlds.  By reflecting in this way we begin to build a clearer picture of the behaviours that really matter to us; those that are more negotiable, and those we feel less concerned about. 

Where do I start?

Storyberries offers free children’s books and parenting suggestions for encouraging good manners and a respectful attitude in kids:

Make good manners a daily practice

The first step is for everyone to practice. Even when our children are babies, we can say good morning, good afternoon and evening to them. Likewise, from an early age, we can get into the habit of saying please and thank you, and asking for forgiveness.

Have fun and be creative with theatre and role-play

Mimicry is a great way to learn, and especially effective when we use dolls and role play.  For example, acting out scenes from everyday life by having one doll behave with good manners and another without them. Talking to children about each doll’s attitudes helps them understand what is socially acceptable and what is not. Another fun approach is to dress up and pretend to be different people. 

Learning through play

Prepare an association game by printing images of children with good and bad manners. Kids just love it!.

Play games that encourage patience

Turn-based board games are ideal for teaching children to be patient. Think of how your children behave when you are talking to someone else. Do they wait patiently to ask you for something, or do they interrupt the conversation? These kinds of games can help teach the importance of respect and patience.

Sing songs!

There are lots of songs available for preschool and elementary age children on the theme of manners. Have fun finding your favourites and singing them together!

Read together!

Reading can be a great option for teaching children good manners. Many times it is easier for children to understand which behaviors are helpful or unhelpful, when they are not themselves the protagonists of the situation.

Play the magic word game!

In this game, one of the participants is a magician, with a magic wand. The music starts and everyone dances until the magician stops the music and casts a spell. The magician then politely asks everyone to do something – for example, pretend to be a dog – so everyone imitates being a dog. The magician thanks them, and the music starts up again.  If the magician forgets the magic words, “please” and “thank you”, they lose, and another participant becomes the magician.

Make use of technology

Cartoons and computer games about manners: technology can be another helpful way for children to learn good manners. Watch short cartoons about manners together, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly your kids bring them to life! There are also fun apps and games which encourage children to practice positive behaviour.

 

Some Free Books About Manners and Respect at Storyberries

Mama, What’s For Lunch?

Thabo and Tumi love the food their mama preoares. In this delightful picture book for young children, they show their excitement and their pleasure – and they remember to say thank you!

Baby’s First Family Photo

A beautifully illustrated picture book telling the story of a family getting ready to have their photo taken together to celebrate the arrival of the new baby. They show their love and respect by dressing up for the special occasion.

The Letter

All families have conflicts and children sometimes see their parents arguing. In this very thoughtful story, Julia decides to write a letter to her parents explaining how she feels. A beautiful book for exploring themes of respect, consideration and non-violent communication.

Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy. 

Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com 

The post Guiding children to show good manners and respect first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

Many children are gentle at heart, but what is not practiced is forgotten, and kindness is a virtue that is also learned. The art of being a good, kind, empathetic and co-operative person is best begun in early childhood.

How does being kind help our kids?

If children can create an environment of peace around themselves, and not act from a place of selfishness or aggressiveness, they are more likely to be appreciated by others and have healthier self-esteem.

Kindness helps everyone

Kind and compassionate children have a greater sensitivity to people, animals and the planet, which results in a better world.

How do I nurture kindness?

Please read on….Storyberries offers free children’s books, and tips for parents, on the valuable virtue of kindness.

The power of gratitude

Children who know how to be grateful for their families, the people around them, the toys they play with, the opportunity to study, and for their home, develop more empathy and compassion for other people. A grateful child will often be more likely to show kindness and compassion. Find ways to encourage gratitude in your child daily, and show gratitude yourself to provide them with regular modelling for a grateful attitude to life.

Real acts of kindness

Doing social deeds is also an education in kindness. By watching your example, and joining in as appropriate, children get used to giving empathy and acting in kindness. Raising money for a charity or another good cause, offering our time to collect items for those most in need, raising funds for sick children, or finding homes for abandoned cats and dogs, are just some examples.

It’s fun to do things together!

Children are generally very supportive of the people around them, and this is crucial in fostering goodness. They are easily motivated because participation excites them so much. Feeling integrated pleases them and their curiosity gives them wings. Joining in is fun, and if we integrate them into household activities they will gradually acquire the habit of being responsible collaborators. This is very advantageous for them because they then don’t see routine tasks as a burden, but as an activity to enjoy doing together.

Nurturing emotional intelligence

Children need to be able to recognize and manage their own emotions in order to understand others. We can talk about emotions and feelings with them whenever we have the chance, and also encourage our children to give expression to how they feel. The goal of emotional intelligence is to cultivate goodness, making it grow alongside empathy and love.

Practising patience in communication

This life-enriching skill can also be one of the most difficult to learn, but it’s all about trying again and again. A patient child can listen to others without being disturbed. Listening does not mean debating or having to agree with what is said; it is about waiting and then finding the right moment to express ourselves.

Loving kindness

Using many affectionate words and loving, tender gestures (and not only when we want to congratulate or reward) is really important. Spontaneous acts of affection are also a very effective way to convey warmth and kindness. “Just because” moments are easy to foster when children are feeling calm, and they can be very simple – we don’t need to go out of our way to do special things.

 

Some Free Books About Kindness At Storyberries

‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’ Simha!

In this lovely book exploring the importance of good manners, Simha learns that his friends feel happier, and are more willing to co-operate, when he treats them with kindness and good manners.

My Best Friend Crow

A beautiful tale of a young girl who feels sad that her grandmother chases away the crows when she feeds the pigeons in the park. Through her acts of kindness Rusty becomes best friends with Crow.

The Fairy Garden

The fairies at the bottom of the garden are delighted to find gifts left out for them by a girl and her golden cat. The kindness of the young girl builds trust and soon they all become friends.

 

Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy. 

Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com 

The post Helping kids to be kind first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

Two little kittens,
One stormy night,
Began to quarrel,
And then to fight.

One had a mouse
And the other had none;
And that was the way
The quarrel begun.

“I’ll have that mouse,”
Said the bigger cat.
“You’ll have that mouse?
We’ll see about that!”

“I will have that mouse,”
Said the tortoise-shell;
And, spitting and scratching,
On her sister she fell.

I’ve told you before
‘Twas a stormy night,
When these two kittens
Began to fight.

The old woman took
The sweeping broom,
And swept them both
Right out of the room.

The ground was covered
With frost and snow,
They had lost the mouse,
And had nowhere to go.

So they lay and shivered
Beside the door,
Till the old woman finished
Sweeping the floor.

And then they crept in
As quiet as mice,
All wet with snow
And as cold as ice.

They found it much better
That stormy night,
To lie by the fire,
Than to quarrel and fight.

POEM FOR KIDS BY Anonymous

Header illustration by budogosh

LET’S CHAT ABOUT THE POEM ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Peace

1. This poem is a good example of how when we fight with others, we often also harm ourselves. Can you think of other ways that fighting with others can lead to our situation being worse?

2. Can you think of some reasons why the kittens might have been fighting in the first place? How else could they have expressed their feelings?

The post Two Little Kittens first appeared on Bedtime Stories.