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LET’S DISCUSS THE STORIES ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Friendship, Feelings, Feeling Scared

1. In this story, Bonke helps his friend Peo to feel brave. What are some other feelings that friends can make us feel?

2. Do you think the meerkat is a new friend for Bonke and Peo? Why or why not?

3. How do you think that Bonke, Peo and the meerkat could play together?

Bedtime Story written by Tumisang Shongwe

Illustrated by Isabella Kuijers

Designed by Monique Cleghorn

Edited by Kelly Norwood-Young

Music Video by “Clear Air” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License, http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

* THE STORY ‘MEERKAT MAGIC’ WAS CREATED BY BOOK DASH AND IS LICENSED UNDER A CREATIVE COMMONS ATTRIBUTION 4.0 LICENSE. MINOR FORMATTING CHANGES MAY HAVE BEEN MADE TO THE ORIGINAL WORK FOR EASE OF READING ON OUR WEBSITE.

The post Meerkat Magic first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

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LET’S DISCUSS THE STORIES ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Independent Thinking, Conversation

1. Can you think of some other nice things about the dark?

2. What is your favourite memory of darkness? What were the nice feelings you have about that memory?

Bedtime Story written by Jade Maitre

Illustrated by Yesim Serce

Music Video by “Crinoline Dreams” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License, http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post The Dark is Friendly first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

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LET’S CHAT ABOUT THE STORY ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Feeling Scared, Conversation

1. Why do you think the particular things in this book are seen as “spooky” or “scary”?

2. What scares you the most?

3. Do you think the same things are scary for everyone? Why?

Short Story for Kids written by Mataï Maitre

Illustrations purchased under license

Book design by Mataï Maitre

Music Video by Pixelland Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License, http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The post The Twelve Days of Halloween first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

When does jealousy tend to arrive?

Many things can trigger jealousy. Every child experiences jealousy at some point, with the arrival of a little brother or sister, with changes in the family structure or simply when they go through the phase of being anxiously attached to their parents. Dealing with this emotion is difficult since it is an ambivalent, contradictory feeling. It manifests more strongly the greater the feeling of love one has for the figure of attachment, and the greater the perceived abandonment.

Jealousy is a natural feeling

Childhood jealousy is a natural feeling that arises when kids feel displaced. Children tend to see things as good or bad, and find it difficult to integrate two facets (one positive and one negative) of the same object, person or situation. Therefore, childhood jealousy is, in general, quite difficult for them to control. Children feeling jealousy may manifest some of the following behaviors:

Unexpected mood swings. 
Clear signs of unhappiness such as frequently crying for no apparent reason, or sadness accompanied by verbal expressions of not feeling loved.
The sudden appearance of new behaviour, or regressive behaviour. These are usually maladaptive strategies to get the attention of the parents (for example unjustified aggressiveness or ceasing to control bowel movements).
Changes in verbal and gestural expression, or a return to more childish language with immature gestures, such as thumb sucking.
Alterations in habitual routines: sleep, feeding… etc.
General disobedience and negativity, such as an oppositional or defiant attitude towards parents and peers.
Repeatedly denying their own mistakes whilst blaming others for their problems and behaviour (commonly blaming the sibling they feel jealous of).

How can we best respond to jealousy?

Please read on…Storyberries provides free online children’s books, and parenting tips, to help kids cope with strong feelings like jealousy.

The gift of loving kindness

When we notice jealousy, the best thing we can do is to approach the situation with an attitude of compassion and loving kindness for everyone involved.

Understanding children’s vulnerability can help us feel more patient. When we can put ourselves in our children’s shoes and feel empathy for them, we understand that jealousy is nothing more than a manifestation of something that makes them feel helpless and overly vulnerable.

Look at what may be causing jealousy

We can also try to understand what is causing jealous feelings to arise. Jealousy sometimes coincides with key moments such as the birth of a sibling. In other instances it may seem to come out of nowhere.

When jealousy appears, there is usually some incident that triggers it. Most parents know what makes their children jealous. Listening and quietly observing children’s interactions can offer valuable clues.

Showing kids we value them

One of the best ways to show kids we care is by being fully present for them. Children need to know that they can count on us. Our presence also reassures them that they matter, helping to reinforce their self esteem and feelings of worthiness.

Recognising and expressing feelings

Kids need to be able to express what they feel in a way that is not harmful to themselves or others. When we see jealousy, we can approach our child and reassure them that we understand how they are feeling.

We might also say: “If you’re feeling jealous, please let me know.” For example, they might ask for affection or a cuddle, ask for toys or comforting objects to relieve anxiety (cushions, balls, etc) or do things that help them relax, such as practicing cartwheels or running in suitable places.

Anticipating tricky situations

It helps to be aware of possible situations that trigger jealous behavior. We can be alert to possible moments of jealousy. In these cases, if we know that the situation is going to trigger the child’s jealousy, we can prevent it by talking to the child, preparing them to face what is coming, or seeking compensation, for example by saying, “We will spend time together later, or on another day.” It is important to avoid making material compensation, because what children are missing on is our company and attention, not gifts or toys. 

 

Some Free Books About Jealousy At Storyberries

Rusty and Me

A lovely simple story that provides a way to discuss the topic of jealousy with young children. Rusty, the old school bus, feels very unsure of himself when Stan, a shiny new red car, arrives in town and wants to join in. Rusty feels happy and confident once more when he is reassured that he is still loved as much as ever.

The Whole World I Love It

An exquisite book about a parent’s love for a child. Comforting and reassuring for any child feeling insecure, with its beautiful words and pictures.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

A ten-minute version of Shakespeare’s classic love story for 7-12 year olds. What better way to discuss themes of love, attachment and jealousy?

Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy. 

Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com 

The post Helping children cope with jealousy first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

Even though Owen knew his sister was right, he was still too scared to come out of his shell.

You see, Owen was a baby turtle who had recently experienced his first thunderstorm.  And ever since then Owen was afraid of everything! And when I say everything, I mean everything: chirping crickets, little field mice, the moonlight. Even the slightest bit of wind rattled Owen’s shell.

The lightning bolts and thunder from the storm still haunted his dreams.  Just thinking about them made Owen tremble.

“Of all the eggs that mamma laid, we’re still the only two who haven’t reached water yet,” said Owen’s Sister Shany.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t do it,” said Owen.

“Come on, Owen! You can too. This is just something you have to face. There’s going to be tougher things in life to deal with than just a little storm.”

“Just a little storm – you call that a little storm?  The lightning bounced off my shell for crying out loud!”

“Well, I must admit it was amazing to see, but it did bounce off you, Owen. Why are you so afraid now?”

“Where there’s one there’s bound to be another,” said Owen. “Maybe next time the lightning bolt doesn’t bounce off me!  Then I’m a goner!”

“Look, Owen, if we don’t find a pond soon we’re both going to be goners.  And besides, the chances of you getting struck by lightning again are probably one in a million.”

“Yeah, which means it could happen,” said Owen.

“Right, and I am going to win the Miss Turtle Universe Beauty Pageant,” said Shany.  “You’re going to have to trust me, Owen.  Since you were the last egg to hatch, I have to look after you. That’s the rule! You’re my baby brother, after all!”

“You hatched forty seconds before I did,” said Owen. “What makes you so grown up?”

“I’m not all grown up.  But like it or not, I am still your older sister.  And unlike you, I’m not afraid of everything under the sun.”

Shany laughed at him then, but even Shany’s laughter wasn’t enough to get Owen out of his shell.

“Nice try.  But I’m still not risking it,” said Owen.

Just then, a little turtle named Roxie walked up to ask for directions.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you, but could you please tell me where to find Pike Lake?”

Owen had experienced lightning first hand, but he had never felt electricity like this before. To Owen, Roxie was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And for the first time since the big storm, Owen didn’t feel afraid.

Without hesitation, Owen popped out of his shell to offer Roxie assistance, but then felt too shy to say anything to her.  Shany saved him though – she pointed to where she believed Pike Lake to be and asked Roxie if she wanted help finding it.  Roxie appreciated Shany’s offer, but said she was battling a cold and didn’t want to get them sick, too.

“It shouldn’t be too hard to find,” said Roxie. “Thanks for your help and I hope we’ll meet again someday.”

As Roxie walked away, Owen felt empty.  Even though Owen hadn’t said a single word to Roxie, he knew he had to see her again.  And that thought alone turned Owen’s emptiness into joy.

“You see, Shany, I’m not afraid.  I’m out of my shell and nothing will ever scare me again,” said Owen gleefully.

But before Owen could utter another word he had jumped right into Shanty’s arms!

“What is it now, Owen?” asked Shany.

“Oh, I just heard the most awful sound in the world.  The sound of thunder! Another storm must be on the way.”

A couple of giggles followed by a loud ornery laugh could be heard close by. It wasn’t thunder that had frightened Owen. A little squirrel pounding rocks against a tree was what had scared him.

“Kid, are you sure you’re a turtle and not a chicken?” asked the squirrel.

“Don’t tease my little brother,” said Shany. “There’s nothing wrong with being afraid.”

“What? I heard you laughing at him earlier too,” said the squirrel.

“Yeah, but I only tried to get him out of his shell,” said Shany. “I didn’t try to scare him.”

“Well, I’m not afraid of storms and all I have is a bushy little tail,” said the squirrel.  “Why, if I had a shell like his I wouldn’t be afraid of anything.”

“I saw you running away from a stray cat yesterday,” said Shany.

“Yeah, so what?” said the squirrel.

“You were scared to death of that cat, but that cat didn’t scare me.”

“What are you saying?” asked the squirrel.

“Everybody gets scared sometimes. Why is my brother being afraid of thunderstorms any different from you being afraid of a cat?”

The squirrel knew that Shany had made a good point, so he just shook his head and darted out of sight.

“Wow.  Thank you,” said Owen.  “You really are a great older sister.”

“As I said before, Owen, that’s my job.”

“You know, sis, I’ve learned something today. I may not like thunderstorms, but being afraid of them isn’t something to be ashamed of.”

“That’s right, little brother.  And it takes courage to know that.”

As Owen and Shany journeyed to find Pike Lake, Owen felt proud about having gained the courage to finally leave his shell.

Throughout his life Owen would encounter many thunderstorms to be sure, but none were as scary as the first one. That’s because Owen never looked at them the same way again.

And oh how he loved telling his grandchildren about the summer lightning bounced off his shell!

But don’t take my word for it – just ask Roxie.

Let’s Chat About The Stories ~ Ideas for Talking With Kids

Feelings, Being Scared, Family

1. Do you think Owen was right to be scared of the lightning? Why or why not?

2. What did being scared of everything prevent Owen from doing?

3. Was Owen scared of things that were really scary?

4. How did Owen overcome his fears?

5. Has someone in your family ever helped you stop being scared of something? How did they do it?

Bedtime story written by Artie Knapp

In-text illustrations by Aja Mulford

The post The Shell Shocked Turtle first appeared on Bedtime Stories.