How to best approach an anxious child

It helps if we can stay calm and be reassuring, as our own fears can otherwise worsen the situation. Getting down to the same level, making reassuring eye contact, and holding hands if you can, can all really help. Storyberries offers free children’s books on anxiety, and parenting tips to help parents support an anxious child.

Showing empathy

Anxiety is fear, so it helps for children to know that we understand and that we also feel fear sometimes. Once your child is calmer, you can give thought to possible solutions.

Being calming and soothing

Taking deep breaths together – breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. Calming with words may, or may not, help – when we are feeling very anxious we don’t always hear what is being said to us. 

Giving a hug can also be a useful way to calm the nervous system – through a reassuring hug we can transmit a sense of tranquility and safety.

Creating an action plan

You can help make a positive action plan with the child on what to do if the anxiety comes back again. Depending on the context (home, school etc.) the plan may involve breathing exercises, taking a short walk outside or drawing a picture. There are lots of possibilities.

Encouraging kids to talk

Helping kids to identify negative thoughts. Storybooks are a really good way to discuss feelings, and so too is drawing. Listening and encouraging children to express their fears allows them to understand that we are all vulnerable, and that feeling afraid does not equate to being weak.

Support for parents

Seeing your child suffer from anxiety can be very painful, frustrating and confusing. Parents usually wonder at some point if they are the cause of their child’s anxiety. Research shows that anxiety is often the result of multiple factors. Whatever the cause of your child’s anxiety, you can help ease it. You can also help your child to develop good coping and self-care skills. As with any childcare issue, don’t be afraid to ask for professional help.

 

Some Free Books About Anxiety and Fear At Storyberries

Scared Tumi

“Everybody gets scared. Mama says it’s okay. In this lovely, simple story, Tumi talks about the different things that scare him while his Mama reminds him that he is reassures him with her kind words and loving presence.

Ollie is Scared

Sometimes anxiety arises out of very real events that are happening to kids. In this story Ollie feels sick and too scared to go to school because he is afraid of being bullied. His mum helps him to talk about his feelings..Then they meet his teacher and together they come up with a good plan that helps all the children.

I Am Not Afraid!

In this delightful story, with gorgeous illustrations, a young girl faces her fear of the dark and discovers she has lots of courage!

Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy. 

Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com 

The post Helping kids cope with feelings of fear and anxiety first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

Fear is one of the basic emotions, a physiological reaction designed by evolution to avoid dangerous or potentially dangerous situations. All children suffer from fear to some extent, and their fears are often related to specific everyday situations such as going to sleep, the dark, or even clowns, pigs or school. These fears change according to age, and thus their way of facing them also changes. It is important however to distinguish everyday fears from more pronounced phobia.

How is a phobia different from fear?

Phobias are defined as extreme fear and anxiety reactions to a specific stimulus. Anxiety is a reaction of the body to something that is threatening to us. It is a way of preparing ourselves to flee or attack. There are however lots of occasions where fear is activated by stimuli that are not dangerous. While fears and phobias are both normal reactions of the human body, managing them is still important, as they can have a negative impact at a personal and family level.

What are the most common childhood fears?

The most common fears amongst children are fears of the dark, monsters (or other fantastical creatures), being abandoned or left alone, school, animals, and visiting doctors and dentists.

Stay calm

When facing fears with children, the most important thing is to stay calm, since they trust you to understand the world.

The secure presence of a calm adult is very reassuring for children and really helps to allay fears.

Validate feelings

Guide children to recognise their fear and understand it as normal. You can start by helping them identify what causes their fear. It is positive to talk about the things that cause fear, as kids need to feel listened to by someone sympathetic.

Face fears slowly and with an attitude of kindness.

Encourage your child to face their fears gradually (initially giving your help) and without any forcing. Praise courageous behaviour and then gradually (over time) step back so the child feels confident on their own.

Notice any patterns of avoidance

Try to see if there are any repeating patterns of behaviour – is the child using the fear as a way to avoid doing something undesirable, or is there something else they are afraid of?

Again, be very gentle. They may need reassurance or help with the thing they’ve been avoiding. After getting the reassurance or support they need, the fear or phobia may fall away all by itself.

Help kids feel safe again

It is possible to help children overcome their fear by gradually exposing them to it. For example, if a child is afraid of dogs, you might offer your support and show that they don’t have to be afraid. If you are concerned, or if the fear seems serious, please seek professional advice from your medical doctor.

Play and humour

It can sometimes be very helpful to use humour to help face fears. A good antidote for some kinds of fears is to transform frightening aspects of a person or situation into funny features through pictures and jokes.

This isn’t laughing at the child’s expense, but using playfulness to lighten the child’s feelings.

 

Some free books about being scared

Scared Tumi

Tumi is very frightened of many things. In this lovely story, Tumi describes his fears, and his mother helps to allay them with reassuring explanations.

Brave Bora

A beautifully illustrated and reassuring story. Bora goes to have a vaccination. He takes along his toy monkey Jojo. Baba and the kind nurse both help Bora to feel calm and relaxed, and then he has his vaccine. Brave Bora!

Who Stole Bhaiya’s Smile?

Bhaiya has a big black monster on his back. In this super story for 7-12 year olds, Bhaiya’s family help him deal with the heavy sadness that is weighing him down in a very clever way.

The Shell-Shocked Turtle

Owen the turtle is frightened of everything! His sister helps him to face his fears and become confident once again.

Article by Luzmery M. Romero Gamboa and Fleur Rodgers

Luzmery works in the area of clinical psychology as a psychotherapist for children, adolescents and families. Since 2016, she has run a Psychological Center in Venezuela called Psicoluz. She offers workshop facilitations to parents, is involved in recreational activities for children, and has been working as a freelancer since 2017 performing online psychotherapy. 

Fleur is a meditation teacher in France and uses a compassion and loving-kindness based approach to meditation and slow-minded living. Fleur posts regularly to Instagram @rodgers.fleur . She has two children, is a qualified teacher in adult education and is the founder of Timeouttobreathe.com 

The post How to Help Kids Overcome Fears, Phobias and Being Scared first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

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Bedtime Story written by Sope Martins

Illustrated by Ndumiso Nyoni

Designed by Aisha O’Reilly

Edited by Alison Ziki

* THE STORY ‘TEJU’S SHADOW!’ WAS CREATED BY BOOK DASH AND IS LICENSED UNDER A CREATIVE COMMONS ATTRIBUTION 4.0 LICENSE. MINOR FORMATTING CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE TO THE ORIGINAL WORK FOR EASE OF READING ON OUR WEBSITE.

LET’S DISCUSS THE STORIES ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Fearfulness, Feelings

1. In this story, Teju is afraid of shadows until his Mum helps him see that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Do you think talking to someone about the things you are afraid of can help? How might this be?

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Short story for kids written by Jade Maitre

Illustrated by Mihailo Tatic

© Storyberries 2020

Let’s Chat About The Stories ~ Ideas for Talking With Kids

Fearfulness, Feelings, Conversation

1. Have you ever been scared of something silly? Why were you scared of it?

2. What is the worst thing you can imagine happening with the thing you are scared of? Do you think this would ever happen?

3. Can you think of some ways that you could feel less scared?

The post PLUGHOLE! first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

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LET’S DISCUSS THE STORIES ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Courage, Fearfulness

1. Do you think the lion in this story acts bravely? Why or why not?

2. When you are scared, what helps you to feel brave?

Find more books for babies!

Or read the complete Storyberries collection of books for babies here:

Bedtime Story written by Daniel Browde

Illustrated by Carlos Amato

Designed by Thabang Tlhako

Edited by Alison Ziki

* THE STORY ‘LIONS ARE ALWAYS BRAVE!’ WAS CREATED BY BOOK DASH AND IS LICENSED UNDER A CREATIVE COMMONS ATTRIBUTION 4.0 LICENSE. MINOR FORMATTING CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE TO THE ORIGINAL WORK FOR EASE OF READING ON OUR WEBSITE.

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So I picked a spider up one day and popped it in her hair.

For my mama always told me that it helps to face your fears-

But regrettably in Tilly’s case she shrieked with angry tears.

I was trying to build her strength, I was trying to make her brave!

But the teachers told me off, told me not to misbehave –

“It’s like this”, I tried explaining, “I was once afraid of heights,

But then I climbed a skyscraper and saw the city’s lights.”

Oh, if only grownups listened to a child’s point of view,

They would see the world a different way and learn a thing or two!

© Phoebe Coghlan 2019

POEMS FOR KIDS WRITTEN BY PHOEBE COGHLAN

LET’S CHAT ABOUT THE POEM ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Fearfulness, Feelings

1. What is one thing that you are scared of?

2. Do you think you would feel less scared if you saw it up close? Why or why not?

3. What are some other ways you can think of, to be less scared about something?

The post Facing Fears first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

Let’s Chat About The Stories ~ Ideas for Talking With Kids

Fearfulness

1. The child in this story is very frightened that there is a tiger under the bed. Even before you got to the end of the story, did you think it was very likely that there was a tiger under the bed?

2. If you thought it was not very likely, why do you think the child still believed there might be one there?

3. When Mum pulled out the jacket from under the bed, the child in this story realised that their fears had been unfounded. What do you think this might tell us about many of the things that frighten us?

BEDTIME STORY WRITTEN BY ANUPA LAL

ILLUSTRATED BY SUVIDHA MISTRY

Music Video by zapsplat.com

This book was originally published on Storyweaver by Pratham Books. Copyright (c) Pratham Books 2015. The development of the digital version of this book has been supported by HDFC Asset Management Company Limited (A joint venture with Standard Life Investments) 

* THE STORY ‘’UNDER MY BED‘ WAS CREATED BY PRATHAM BOOKS AND IS LICENSED UNDER A CREATIVE COMMONS -BY-4.0 LICENSE. MINOR FORMATTING CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE TO THE ORIGINAL WORK FOR EASE OF READING ON OUR WEBSITE, INCLUDING THE CREATION OF NEW TEXT PAGES TO ALLOW FOR CLEARER READING ON SMALL DEVICES, AND SLIGHT EDITS TO THE TEXT.

The post Under My Bed first appeared on Bedtime Stories.

Visit Storyberries Bookstore

LET’S CHAT ABOUT THE STORIES ~ IDEAS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS

Fearfulness

1. All the animals are scared of the shadow until they find out what it is – a baby! Have you ever been scared of something and then found out it was not scary at all? What was it?

SHORT STORY FOR KIDS WRITTEN BY KATE SIDLEY

ILLUSTRATED BY ROBYN PENN

DESIGNED BY ANN ROBERTS

* THE STORY ‘WHAT IS IT?’ WAS CREATED BY BOOK DASH AND IS LICENSED UNDER A CREATIVE COMMONS ATTRIBUTION 4.0 LICENSE. MINOR FORMATTING CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE TO THE ORIGINAL WORK FOR EASE OF READING ON OUR WEBSITE.

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